I can't talk to him.

Hi, i just got off the phone with my uncle. I dont know how to handle this anymore. He's sick and he doesn't care at all. how can he not?
he said "I wont go anywhere, i wont leave you. i never will. You will always be my little girl." I didn't know what to say. He cant decide that. He's sick. what ever can happen.
So here i am again.. sitting infront of my computer writing about whatever's crossing my mind on shitty blog. I dont even get why people read it. i mean, im a mess. it can't be fun read.

I don't think i'll ever learn that my painkillers won't take away my mental pain. so here i am, swallowing a shit load of pills, without any point of doing it. whats wrong with me? WHY can't i be one of those people who has a happy life? what have i dont to deserve this?

right now im trying to write my speech in swedish about the future. when i think about my future,  i dont see anything. I dont see myself doing anything in the future. To me, my future is black, nonexistent. im too stupid to get a job and i'm way to depressed to live like this for the rest of my life.

But for now.. i just want you to stay with me. I want you to stay strong and never ever give up.