forever and always.

And i stare at the phone and he still hasn't called And then you feel so low, you can't feel nothing at alland you flashback when he said forever and always. 
oh, and it rains in your bathroom, everything is wrongit rains when you're here, it rains when you're gone. Cause i was there when you said forever and always. 

I should be over you by now. I really should. I though i were, it felt like it. You'll never see this post, i won't even let you see this blog.
I'll never admit to you how it really is, you broke me. You really did. But this song, it reminds me of you. I believe it was a tuesday when you called me your girl for the first time. I remember that the snow fell and that it actually was the first snow that year. I regret i didn't give you another chance when you asked me to. What if i would've been lucky by now. Not crying myself to sleep every night and then putting a smile on at school and around my friends.I cry about you sometimes, i do. And i do miss your arms around me and your lips on my lips. But what is there to do? I know you've moved on, just like i thought i did. You have no idea how confused and strangely happy when you wrote that cute, super long text to me a while ago. Telling me you were missing me and that you thought about me and cried. You said that you were sorry for hurting me. I cried while reading it. But i didn't really know what to say, so i played it cool. How could i be that stupid? 
I remember the first time you told me you loved me. we were in your bed, you looked right into my eyes, kissed me on the lips, "i love you" you whispered and my heart melted. 
"I remember when you said forever and always. You didn't mean it baby.." i don't think you did. i wish i could forget it all, all the memories, all the tears, all of the kisses and all of the romantic moments that made you to my very own. 
after all you've done to me, i guess im not over you. and i guess... i still love you. 

tattoo :D

i got my tattoo done today. I LOVE IT! :D

speechless.

I cant even. Im not even able to speak.

quote

"You reflect on the people who used to be in your life, and it's like, 'Wow, I can't believe that person was ever really in my life.' But people are put into your life for seasons, for different reasons, and to teach you lessons."

Im here for you!

this is for you my friend.

you know i love you! 

.... i tried not to cry in the end of the video. I'm such a retard. 

When im gone, just carry on.

It's not your fault, I'm a bitch, I'm a monster.

This time won't you save me, baby I can feel myself giving up.

beautiful song!

i've known about this song for a while now, well, since justin uploaded him covering the song. i listened to the acoustic version today. Damn, it's good!

Shoutout to Ryan Beatty!

gotta be honest.. he's hot.

Perfection.

Justin Drew Bieber what would i do if you didn't exist?! 

looking in to his eyes for 10 seconds would've made my life complete. I love him so so much!

....

I'll find a reason.

Have you ever been told how bad you are at something, How ugly you are or how fat you are? 

Have you ever felt broken? 

Have you ever wanted to give up? 

Have you ever wanted to go to sleep and never wake up?

I can't find words for what i'm feeling. I'd never have the nerves to put a rope around my neck or jump infront of a train. I'd never leave my friends like that. i don't want them to cry for me, I'd never want them to do that. I love them to much. 

I'd never leave my Goddaughter, i want to be here for her in the future. I want to see the beautiful woman i know she's gonna grow up to be. Somehow i don't want to leave, i have to much to live for. I still have that part of me that is tired, tired of fixing things, tired of fighting, tired of getting hurt and tired of life. 

I'm tired, u know, i'm so done with crying. I'm so done with him. 

I wish i was strong. I wish i was brave enough to make him stop. I wish i was unbroken. 

i'd never wish anyone this. 

oh father, please father. put the bottle down for the love of a daughter.....

in this kind of mood...

... and that's all i have to say. 

what a wonderful night!

Hey! :D

I just got home from an amazing night. I spend it with my friends. We went out for Pizza, Laughed so hard, Did some weird stuff, smoke way to much and drank some. I truly had a great time! 

Tomorrow im gonna babysit like all day & then im going to a party at the night. i just really like life at the moment. 

Day 4; idols/role models.

hello my dear readers. <-- a bit awkward.
so, as i said in my 10 day thing (which is gonna take more than ten days), im gonna write about my idols and role models.

so lets start with Role Models:

Selena Gomez

Selena is probably one of my biggest role models, she such an role model. I love how much she cares about her fans and that she really has an heart of gold! I basically started to love her when she and Justin got together. Before that, i almost only knew about her in the Wizards of Waverly place. She's an UNICEF ambassadeur and she's so young. Im pretty sure she inspired millions of girls my age. I can't tell you how many times i've cried me eyes out listening to 'who says'. I'm actually listening to it at the moment. I felt soo bad for her when her mom got an miscarriage, i literally cried. If you ask me about the most beautiful woman on earth, I'd say Selena Gomez. She is a natural beauty and she's so nice! 

Demi Lovato

Demi means a lot to me. She's probably one of the strongest woman i "know". She hasn't really helped me, but i've had very close friends with eating disorders and i dont know why, but hearing her story and to see how good she seems to be now, i found the strength to support them even more. Because i knew that there was a good way out. I love Demi, i love her way to be and i love her support. Not to talk about her music, DAMN that girl can sing! she can really write music and her voice is so original. Its amazing! I can't believe both her and Selena has turned 20 already! they're no teenagers anymore. She cares so so much about her fans and she really trust us! "Stay strong", im so getting a tattoo with that when im old enough. 

The boys, My One direction

They're a bit special aren't they? well, They're special to me. I love these guys! "little things" is probably one of the best songs for a teenage girl. 

 

My everything, Justin Drew Bieber! 

To be fully honest, i've never loved anyone (apart from my family) this much. Because i really do, i really love him. I love everything about him, the things i love the most is how he wants to give back as much as he can, how he means every word he sings and how absolutely beautiful he is! This Boy has helped me through so much the past 4 years, and im sure as hell not leaving hes side now. My Beautiful boy, My love. I love you! 

gosh, this is getting pretty emotional. Im so proud of him, im proud of everything he does. It doesn't matter if it is about a tweet or just a picture. Because it's never just a pic, it always means more to me. It means everything, He means everything to me! I honestly don't know where i'd be without him. It's basically because of him, im in an english "school". I want to get out of here, Get married with justin and live happily ever after. lol. 

But i'd give everything just to spend 10 seconds with him. it sounds ridiculous but im serious. that's how much he means to me. i think i'd cry so much when i saw him. im gonna see him in like 130 days though. Imma cry my eyes out. The crazy thing is that since i got my iphone 2 years ago, i've always had Justin as my background, pretty crazy huh?

Dear Justin, You don't know how much i love you!  

Thank you soo much for helping me through sad nights and hard times. You don't know it, but it's true. It really is. 

sincerely, forever your belieber. 

The love of my life!

Justin Drew Bieber, thank you for everything!

wanna grow up? Nah, im fine.

i dont wanna grow up.

day 3: bucket list!

alright fellas. i was supposed to write this yesterday but i didn't feel very good, so i might as well do it today.

so... this is some of the things on my bucket list:

• Meet Justin Bieber and tell him how much he means to me and how much he's helping me. ¨
• go to a Justin Bieber concert (i will in 131 days though) 
• go to England 
• Meet 1D, Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez and other celebrities. 
• Skydiving and Bungee Jump.
• have a baby 
• meet the Janoskians 
• snorkeling 
• record something in a studio 
• be in a movie 
• travel around the world. 
• be on Ellen Degeneres Show. 
• meet the Bieber crew. 
• Learn how to dance
• Write a book (WTF?) 
• have a walk-in-closet 
• get married
• do something very crazy (i haven't figured out that one yet)
• GO TO DISNEY LAND! (yes, im 16 and i haven't been there yet) 
• Visit Toronto and stratford 
• find the perfect dress 
• have the perfect relationship 
• kiss someone under the mistletoe
• KISS JUSTIN DREW BIEBER! 
• sing infront of a crowd
• finish school 
• get a piercing 
• get a tattoo 
• go to prom 
• have the craziest trip with a friend. 
• be proud of my body.

there's more things, i just couldn't remember them now :D